Thursday, October 18, 2012

TALES OF CJ CHICANERY

* If anyone has any further tales to add, drop them in the comments box. Ta. K

Apart from death threats left on journos windscreens, my favourite piece of CJ slime was the Pat O Connor/Pat O Connor affair.

CJ's election agent is busted double voting early in the day.

It's panic stations...for the Soldiers of Destiny..

So the CJ/FF plumbers are called in.

'Who will rid me of this troublesome fact?'
old syphillitic snake eyes asks*

Paddy Public - those that matterd, those who voted in CJ's constituency - must be kept in the dark.

PJ smirks.

'There's an idea, keep them in the dark. Sure they are only a gully away from a dark hovel,' PJ said,

 "Do you know what's great about my long arms? I can pat myself on the back! Pat...pat...what sort of fucking eejit is he getting caught!" PJ added.

Back in those pre-digital, smog shrouded days, rumours didn't travel like wildfire, they puttered across the city on chubby mopeds driven by two stroke madmen.

The press delivery boys.

And the plumbers tailed them.

As the two strokes dropped the bundles of Herald and Press, the plumbers bought them up en masse.

But RTE?

The TV?

The wireless?

The Blue Shirts and Stickies will  wreak havoc.

'It will be all law and fucking morality,' CJ spat with venom.

So guess what?

What?

The local ESB sub power station meets with an accident.

No news.

Those who had still to vote were kept in the dark.

Then...

And this is the bit that says everything in case you think everything had not been said already.

...around midnight, with CJ victorious, a van pulled up outside the local FG HQ.

The back doors opened.

And bundles of 100s and 100s of papers were kicked out onto the street.

All in a potent gesture of fuck you.

It made me think the most judicious move might be to take a jaunt to the far side of the world.


*if Bob Woodward can do a little historical mind reading and dialogue 'recall' -why can't I?

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